Even though Emily never wanted to live in the same house with her husband’s teenage daughter, when the daughter asked to move in, Emily felt she couldn’t simply say no. The woman agreed but made it clear that her stepdaughter would need to respect her rules. Emily didn’t expect her request to lead to family drama and conflict, so she turned to our editorial seeking advice.
Here’s her full story
I’m in a challenging situation with my husband’s teenage daughter from his previous marriage, and I’m unsure if I handled things correctly. While I strive to keep our blended family harmonious, recent events have really tested our limits.
My stepdaughter has a strained relationship with her mom and wants to move in with us. Though it wasn’t an ideal scenario for me, when she stopped talking to her mother, I agreed to let her move in but laid out four rules she would need to follow.
Firstly, I informed her that I wouldn’t be able to cook separate meals for her. With my job and household chores, I simply don’t have the energy to prepare extra meals.
Secondly, she would have to share a room with my daughter, as my two kids from a previous marriage live with us and there’s no spare room. Thirdly, she would be required to do chores just like everyone else in the house. Lastly, due to my allergies, she wouldn’t be allowed to bring her dog with her.
After hearing these rules, she stormed out and complained to my husband, leading to a heated argument between us. I feel torn between trying to create a fair and manageable household and not wanting to push my stepdaughter away. My heart aches because I want her to feel welcome and loved, but I also need to set boundaries to keep our home running smoothly.
I believe my rules are reasonable and necessary for keeping order and fairness in our home. However, I am now struggling with feelings of doubt and guilt. Did I overstep? How should I handle this delicate situation to maintain peace in our family?
I could really use your advice.
Sincerely, Emily
