My Daughter Is Calling Her Stepmom “Mom” Instead of Me

Being a mother is the most rewarding experience in life, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. For Joy, a mother in her 40s, one of her worst nightmares is coming true. Her teenage daughter has started to grow apart from her, and she’s desperate for guidance.

Mother and daughter

Joy divorced her ex-husband eight years ago, and they have a teenage daughter who spends weekends with him. For years, everything seemed fine. However, recently her 14-year-old daughter has been requesting to spend more time at her dad’s and stepmom’s house. To make matters worse, she started calling Joy by her name instead of “Mom.”

At first, Joy thought this was just normal teenage behavior, but a recent incident made her suspect that something more was going on. She overheard her daughter calling her stepmom “Mom.” This upset her greatly, and she decided to investigate further.

To her horror, Joy discovered that her ex-husband and his wife were indulging her daughter with expensive makeup, fancy rings, and beauty products. These were the very things her daughter had been asking Joy for, but Joy couldn’t afford them. It became clear that her ex-husband was using material things to buy his daughter’s affection, and his wife was taking advantage of the situation to alienate her from Joy.

As a result, Joy feels like she’s losing her daughter. She doesn’t recognize the child she once knew, and it’s breaking her heart. She feels helpless and doesn’t know what to do.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, it’s essential to remember that you are not alone. Many parents face challenges like these, especially when dealing with co-parenting and blended families. Here are a few suggestions to help you navigate this difficult situation:


  1. Communication is key: Talk openly and honestly with your daughter about how you feel. Let her know that you love her unconditionally and that her relationship with her stepmom does not change that. Encourage her to express her feelings and concerns as well.


  2. Stay involved: Even if your daughter is spending more time with her dad and stepmom, find ways to stay involved in her life. Attend school events, participate in her hobbies, and show an active interest in her activities. This will remind her that you are still there for her, no matter what.


  3. Seek professional help: Consider reaching out to a family therapist or counselor who can help you navigate this challenging situation. They can provide you with guidance and support, as well as help your daughter process her emotions.


  4. Focus on quality time: When you do have the opportunity to spend time with your daughter, make it count. Plan activities that you both enjoy and create special memories together. Quality time can help strengthen your bond, even amidst the challenges.

Remember, it’s natural for children to explore and test boundaries as they grow older. While it can be painful, try not to take her actions personally. Love and patience will go a long way in rebuilding your relationship with your daughter.

This is just a starting point, and every situation is unique. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group to get further advice and a listening ear. With time and effort, you can overcome this obstacle and strengthen your relationship with your daughter.