Sam Kelly, a 38-year-old mother of three from Utah, is challenging traditional gender roles and redefining parenting and household chores. As a former therapist turned feminist coach for moms, Sam is sharing her unique perspective on managing the home and communicating with her children in an interview with Good Morning America.
Sam’s journey towards this unconventional approach began when she realized she was burdened by the invisible labor associated with running the household. She had been trying to address this issue with her husband, Chas Kelly, and realized that she was inadvertently perpetuating the same pattern with her children.
About 18 months ago, Sam and Chas had a series of conversations about rebalancing their responsibilities at home, which made Sam reflect on her parenting style as well. One evening, while preparing a chore chart for her kids, Sam had an epiphany. She realized that by asking her children to “help” with housework, she was unintentionally reinforcing patriarchal expectations placed on mothers.
In a post on her popular Instagram account, where she has nearly 60,000 followers, Sam explained her new approach. She no longer uses the word “help” when referring to managing the home. Instead, she emphasizes that taking care of the home is a shared responsibility among all family members by using the word “work.” By doing so, Sam believes that children can understand that managing a home involves actual work and is not solely their mother’s responsibility.
Sam’s Instagram post has gained significant attention and support, with over 66,000 likes and nearly 2,000 comments. She firmly believes that changing the language around household chores can positively impact children’s perceptions of work and their roles within the family.
In addition to changing the language, Sam has introduced a system she calls “notice and do.” Instead of assigning specific chores, she encourages her children to be proactive in identifying tasks that need to be done around the house. This approach aims to teach children to take the initiative and contribute to the overall well-being of the household.
While Sam’s approach has received praise for challenging traditional gender roles and promoting shared responsibility, it has also sparked some debate. Some argue that managing and overseeing the home is solely the parents’ responsibility, while others believe that involving children in household chores can empower them and teach valuable life skills.
Sam Kelly’s parenting philosophy serves as a reminder that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Every family is unique, and the key is to find what works best for your family dynamics and values. Sam’s journey towards redefining her parenting approach highlights the importance of open communication and a willingness to adapt and evolve as parents.
In conclusion, Sam Kelly’s decision to stop asking her children to “help” with chores and instead encourage them to “work” represents a fresh perspective on parenting and household responsibilities. By changing the language around chores and teaching her children the value of shared work, she is challenging traditional gender roles and promoting a more equitable division of labor within her family. While her approach has garnered both support and criticism, it underscores the importance of thoughtful and intentional parenting in today’s evolving society.
