Losing a child is any parent’s worst nightmare, and for Amanda Saucedo, that nightmare became a devastating reality. As a single mother of two, she woke up one morning to find her one-month-old son, Ben, lifeless beside her in bed.
Amanda, who had previously served in the US army, recalls the tragic events of that day. Ben had started fussing in the middle of the night, prompting Amanda to change his diaper and bring him into bed for a feed. Exhausted, she fell asleep and woke up at 8 am to a horrifying sight.
Her beloved Ben was lying in a pool of his own blood, motionless. Amanda’s heart sank as she desperately tried to wake him up, but it was too late. The tragedy had already occurred, and Amanda’s life would never be the same.
Amanda’s anguish grew as she questioned herself: Did she somehow cause this? The guilt and self-blame consumed her. The police investigated, and the case was sent to an inquest. Amanda’s hope for answers turned to despair.
The official cause of Ben’s death was listed as positional “asphyxiation owing to dangerous sleep settings,” but Amanda couldn’t comprehend how this could have happened. She had followed safe sleep practices, and nothing was obstructing Ben’s airway. It seemed like an unimaginable and cruel twist of fate.
Struggling to cope with her grief and guilt, Amanda vowed to raise awareness about SUDI (Sudden Unexpected Death in Infancy) and the risks associated with sharing a bed with an infant. She wants to spare other parents from experiencing the devastating loss she has endured.
Amanda acknowledges that losing a child is a deeply sorrowful and life-altering experience. Grief brings forth a mix of emotions that are hard to navigate. She believes it’s her duty to educate parents about safe sleep practices, even if the information might not always be welcomed.
Many well-meaning individuals argue that having their baby close to them in bed is preferable in case something goes wrong. However, Amanda disagrees. She believes that if she had followed the recommended safe sleep guidelines, she might not have to live with the constant doubt and guilt she carries with her every day.
Amanda’s mission is to bring awareness to the dangers of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and SUID (Sudden Unexpected Infant Death) when sharing a bed with a newborn. While there is plenty of advice on bed-sharing available, she cautions against it based on the tragic loss of her son.
In her efforts to raise awareness, Amanda presents Benny Bears, along with a short tale written by her son, to new parents. She hopes that by sharing her heartbreaking story, she can help prevent other families from experiencing the same pain and grief.
Losing a child is an unimaginable tragedy, and Amanda’s strength and resilience in the aftermath serve as an inspiration to all. Her mission to educate and support others is a testament to her love for Ben and her commitment to making a difference.
Let us remember Amanda’s story and take it to heart. Together, we can create a safer world for our children, where no parent has to suffer the agonizing loss that Amanda has endured.
