While we might expect all parents to be loving and supportive, sometimes reality paints a different picture. Some parents, rather than building their children up, prefer to bring them down with sharp remarks and criticisms. This is the unfortunate reality for one daughter, frequently criticized by her mother over everything from her clothing choices to her personal demeanor.
Sadly, some parents tend to be very judgmental of their kids, which leaves them feeling both confused and sad
Image credits: andreas / Freepik (not the actual photo)
A woman came online to ask whether people online think her mom’s comments about her are mean
For instance, this mom comments that her daughter’s clothing choices are ugly and implies she’s a forgettable, unlikeable, and even pitiable person
Her mom is always comparing her to other women’s daughters, who she claims are perfect in every way. These continuous comments chipped away at the woman’s self-esteem, leading her to question her mother’s intentions.
She also always compares her to her friends’ daughters, who in her eyes are perfect all around
With all these comments combined, it’s no surprise the woman feels her mom’s remarks are much meaner than they might seem at first glance. The daughter explained that while her mom generally appears as a lovely lady, there’s an unpleasant side to her that comes out through her hurtful comments.
For example, during a shopping trip, the daughter showed her some newly bought clothes, to which the mom responded, “It’s not like you have anywhere to wear them as you never go out.” This left the daughter feeling hurt and judged. Everyone has different ideas of what “going-out clothes” look like, and it was simply mean for the mother to judge her choice.
Moreover, the mom’s judgment extends beyond clothing. She’s critical of almost everything her daughter does, yet praises other children her age. According to the daughter, her mother never says anything nice about her but instead suggests she is unlikeable and forgettable. For instance, her mother would say that her old colleagues or her university supervisor probably wouldn’t remember her unless it was out of pity.
Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
There are theories that some mothers are critical of their daughters because they’re jealous of them
Some theorize that such critical behavior from mothers might stem from jealousy. In some cases, mothers view their daughters as competition and, in turn, try to diminish their self-esteem. Others suggest that mothers might feel disappointed or perceive a sense of competition with their friends over who has the ‘best’ children.
Regardless of the motive, passive-aggressive communication can have dire consequences on mental health. It can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. This kind of communication style often does more harm than good, eroding confidence and self-worth.
Thankfully, the original poster (OP) found some clarity. After sharing her story online, many people agreed that her mom’s comments were indeed mean. Armed with this validation, perhaps she can find a way to confront her mother or develop strategies to protect herself from the hurtful comments. Moving forward with this understanding can only lead to a better path ahead, don’t you think?
Folks online supported the idea of the comments being mean and theorized why the mom keeps saying them
Personal stories reveal similar experiences with critical parents
Many others shared their similar experiences online, reinforcing the notion that such critical behavior from parents is more common than we might think. One commenter mentioned how their mom would always make remarks about how their friends didn’t want to be around them. Another story highlighted a mother who compared their child unfavorably to their sibling, negatively impacting their self-confidence over the years.
Understanding and coping with negative comments
While it’s tough to change someone else’s behavior, especially a parent’s, acknowledging the hurt is a significant first step. Those who shared their stories found ways to distance themselves emotionally or physically from the source of negativity. Whether through confronting the individual or seeking outside support, there are ways to move towards a healthier self-perception.
Understanding the dynamics behind these mean comments can offer some peace and pave the way for better communication or self-protective strategies. No one should have to endure constant negative comments, especially from those who are supposed to love and support them the most.
