My son was smart. Smarter than me. I almost requested a paternity test because he was so damn intelligent. (THAT’S A JOKE.) My ex and I divorced when he was about 12. She remarried when he was 14. I did when he was 16.
He always lived with me, as my ex wanted to focus on bettering her personal life and “getting along with her stepson,” so she visited him rarely, only sometimes taking him for holidays. It was sad.
I had a 529 Plan set up for him. As long as he went for post-secondary education, he could use the money for anything. When he got accepted to Yale, it was the proudest moment of my life.
But… soon after, my son was struck and killed by a drunk driver. I’m dealing with it.
I was handling the funeral arrangements and everything when my ex came to talk to me about his money.
“I know you have this fund. So, since you don’t need it anymore, I want you to give it to my stepson. Jerry (her current husband) thinks it’s fair too.”
I thought I misheard. I was SHOCKED she even dared to ask about this. I decided to put them both in their place.
“You think I don’t need it?” I asked, my voice eerily calm despite the storm inside me. “That money was for our son. Not for anyone else. And definitely not for your husband’s kid.”
She scoffed. “Oh, come on. He’s about to graduate, and he wants to go to college. You know how hard it is to afford tuition nowadays.”
I just stared at her, disbelieving. “You barely spent any time with our son when he was alive, and now that he’s gone, you suddenly remember the money I saved for him?”
Her eyes flashed with something—maybe anger, maybe guilt. “Look, I know you’re grieving. I am too! But you don’t have another child to provide for. Jerry and I are struggling, and it would mean the world to us if you just did the right thing.”
“The right thing?” I let out a humorless laugh. “The right thing would have been you being a better mother when he was alive. Instead, you’re here, trying to cash in on his death.”
Her face twisted. “That’s not fair.”
I stepped closer, lowering my voice. “What’s not fair is that my son didn’t get to live long enough to use what I saved for him. What’s not fair is that you’re standing here, acting entitled to it like you had any part in building that future for him. No. The answer is no.”
She opened her mouth, but I cut her off. “And if Jerry thinks it’s ‘fair’ too, then tell him to get a second job.”
She stormed off, cursing me under her breath. I thought that was the end of it.
It wasn’t.
A week later, I got a call from a lawyer. My ex and Jerry were trying to take me to court, claiming that since we were once married, she had a right to my financial assets, especially those that had been originally intended for our child.
I laughed when I heard it. Laughed until I nearly cried.
My lawyer assured me they didn’t have a case. The 529 Plan legally belonged to me as the account holder. I had every right to reallocate the funds however I saw fit. But just the sheer audacity of my ex-wife trying to take me to court over our dead son’s money? That was something else entirely.
Instead of spending months tangled in legal nonsense, I made my decision.
I donated every single cent of that 529 Plan to a scholarship fund for underprivileged kids who dreamed of going to college but couldn’t afford it. I set it up in my son’s name.
When my ex found out, she went ballistic. Called me every name under the sun, saying I was spiteful, cruel, and heartless. But I didn’t care. My son was gone. No amount of money could bring him back, but at least his legacy could help others.
Jerry’s kid? He’d have to figure things out like the rest of us.
Some people will always feel entitled to what they never worked for, but at the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide what’s right. My son would have wanted his savings to help someone who actually earned it. Not someone whose mother saw an opportunity and tried to pounce on it.
What would you have done in my shoes? Let me know in the comments. And if you believe in doing the right thing, no matter how hard it is—share this story.
