A wealthy man found himself thoroughly annoyed the moment he saw his seatmate on his first-class flight. James Courtney anticipated an unpleasant journey when he noticed the woman occupying the seat next to him was quite large. How in the world could he be comfortable with her encroaching on his space?
As she settled down and buckled her seatbelt, her elbow brushed against James. “Watch it!” James yelled, irritation dripping from his voice. The woman turned towards him, clearly flustered.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she whimpered. “Please excuse me…”“Excuse you?” James sneered. “Or excuse the 3,000 doughnuts you ate to get to that size?”
The woman’s eyes widened in shock, and it dawned on James that she was rather young, with a sweet but fragile face. Encouraged by her reaction, he continued, “Lady, when you travel, you need to book TWO seats!”
Her eyes brimmed with tears, but James was just getting started. Observing her outdated, worn clothes and shoes, he quipped, “I guess your whole budget goes on nachos and hot dogs, right? So you can’t afford two seats? Next time, pass the hat around. I’m sure all your fellow passengers will be very generous!”
She turned to look out the window, and James could see her reflection, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Listen,” he went on, relentless. “I have a friend who runs a clinic in Mexico. I’m sure he’d give you a liposuction mucho cheapo!” Her shoulders shook with sobs, satisfying James’ need for retribution against the discomfort she caused him. Feeling victorious, he called for a drink.
“Shaken, not stirred!” he told the pretty flight attendant, mimicking James Bond. Then he added, “I don’t know what Moby Dick here will drink…”
The flight attendant frowned disapprovingly then turned to the woman. “Ma’am, would you like anything to drink?” The woman nodded, wiping away her tears. “Yes please, a diet Coke.”
James scoffed. “Don’t you think it’s a bit late in the game for a diet Coke?” Ignored by both women, he sipped his Martini, pleased with his ability to upset them. He shuddered at the thought of the inevitable bathroom trip she’d have to make at some point, squeezing past him.
Shortly after, the flight attendant distributed dinner trays. She placed one in front of James and another in front of his neighbor. “Are you sure that will be enough?” James asked, “Because I think it would take a village to feed this lady!” The flight attendant ignored him and served the other passengers.
“That was rude of her, wasn’t it?” James asked the woman, who, unsurprisingly, ignored him. He turned his attention to his meal, realizing the dinner was excellent, and washed it down with a last sip of wine. The flight attendant returned, now all smiles.
“Excuse me,” she said, “The captain is a huge fan and he’d love to invite you up to the cockpit.” James was momentarily baffled until he realized she was addressing the woman next to him, who was blushing and smiling. This meant, of course, that James had to get up and let her by.
Sulking back into his seat, James fantasized about the complaint emails he would send about the subpar service in first class. His thoughts were interrupted by the captain’s voice over the speakers.
“Ladies and gentlemen. We have a celebrity among us! If you’re fans of ‘I Love Opera’ like me, you’ll recognize the voice!” A beautiful melody filled the cabin, and the passengers clapped, excitedly.
The captain announced, “It’s the lovely Miss Allison Jones, flying with us to perform a charity concert for world hunger!” Applause erupted throughout the plane. James cringed as the realization hit him.
Then the flight attendant appeared again. “Listen up, buster,” she said coldly. “I don’t care how many millions you have. If you upset that girl again, I’m putting you in economy.” James tried to object but saw the determination in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
“It’s not me you have to apologize to!” she retorted. A short while later, Allison Jones returned, signing autographs and smiling brightly. James stood to let her back into her seat.
“Listen,” he tried with his most charming smile. “I’m sorry if I was a little rude. I had no idea who you were!”
Allison looked at him with her beautiful eyes. “It doesn’t matter who I am. You shouldn’t treat people like that, EVER! And besides, you’re not sorry. Would you even be apologizing if I wasn’t semi-famous? I can’t help my weight, but you can change your attitude. Stop judging people.”
James shut his mouth, sinking back into his seat and remained silent until they landed in Portland.
