Navigating parenthood is a journey filled with challenges and personal decisions.
Each family has its own traditions and ways of raising children, and while there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach, some choices can certainly spark debate.
One mother’s decision to ask her daughter to stop cuddling with her has stirred quite the conversation online. Let’s delve into the story and see what people are saying.
The Mother Shares Her Experience
A 37-year-old mother turned to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A*****e’ thread to get some perspective on a recent event involving her young daughter.
In her post, she explained, “My daughter is very small for her age and as a result, she sometimes gets treated like a younger child.”
“She loves to hop in my or my husband’s lap and cuddle with us on the couch or in a chair,” she continued. However, she started to wonder if her daughter was getting “too old” for such cuddling and worried that continuing this behavior might not be beneficial for her.
The day before posting, her 11-year-old daughter tried to get on her lap for a cuddle. “I told her she was too old for that and to get off me,” she recalled. “She got really upset, got off me, and slammed her door shut.”
Since then, the young girl has avoided cuddle attempts and tension has built up at home. “She doesn’t talk to me unless she has to and when I hugged her goodnight last night, she didn’t hug me back,” the mother said.
“I feel really guilty because I hurt her feelings, but I feel like she might be too old for sitting on my lap,” she concluded, asking the Reddit community if she was wrong in her actions.
How Did People React?
Unfortunately for the mother, the Reddit community deemed her “the a*****e” in this situation. Many commenters criticized her for discarding what they saw as precious bonding moments with her daughter.
“She’s not going to want to cuddle you much longer. You may have a year left. And you’re throwing that time away instead of cherishing it,” one commenter noted.
Another offered a more detailed criticism: “There’s nothing wrong with guiding a child towards more age-appropriate behaviors or expressing that something is no longer comfortable for you. That’s part of helping a child grow up. But you do need to redirect them to behavior that is appropriate and reinforce that while your relationship with them is changing, your love for them remains consistent.
If you just told her to ‘Get off’ with no warning, it’s no wonder why she perceived that as rejection and is now confused about what sort of physical affection is okay or will get her reprimanded,” they added.
Another poignant comment read: “I work at a nursing home. We have a 78-year-old man who comes to visit his 99-year-old mother every week. She has dementia and they hold each other and they both light up. You never outgrow the need for love and affection from your parents.”
If you were in this mother’s shoes, what would you do? Do you have any words of advice for her? Feel free to share your thoughts!
