“Do Y’all Actually Like The People You’re Married To?”
A professor on TikTok wants to know why people in relationships disrespect their partners — and think it’s funny.
Husband/wife relationships have their ups and downs even under the best of circumstances. No one can be a perfect partner, but a recent stitch from TikTok user Neil Shyminsky, who posts as @professorneil, raised the question of why being an inconsiderate partner has become a source of comedy.
Shyminsky created a stitched video featuring men on a golf course being asked, “What time did you tell your wife you’d be home?” The first man, who was asked this question a little after 7 p.m., replied that he had told his wife he’d be home around 5, making him about 2 hours late while still on the course. “You lost track of time: happens to the best of us,” opined Shyminsky. But as the rest of the men were asked, it became clear this was a pattern: the men had all told their partners that they’d be home between 5 and 5:45, but were still hitting balls at 7:30 p.m.
Shyminsky soon realized the video wasn’t meant to be funny. He didn’t think lying to a partner and disrespecting their time was particularly humorous. He was also perturbed by the top comment on the video, which read, “As long as he doesn’t care that I actually spent $1,000 on Amazon when I told him it would only be $500, stay as long as you like, babe.”
At the time Shyminsky stitched the video, that comment had more than 4,500 likes, and the good professor had a question for the golfers, shoppers, and people who found the video and the top comment funny: “Do y’all actually like the people you’re married to, or are you all just tolerably unhappy together?”
Great question, and clearly one that resonates. The video has about 1.7 million views and nearly 161,000 likes as of press time with several thousand comments.
“And they’ll all be blindsided by a divorce that came out of nowhere,” replied one commenter.
“The ironic thing is, in a loving relationship, I’m fine if he wants to stay longer doing something he’s having fun with, if we don’t have schedule conflicts that day,” read another. “As long as he COMMUNICATES it.”
And, truly, folks: the phone is right there in your pocket. Just text and check in. It’s probably going to be fine.
Shyminsky created a follow-up video questioning how these mutual lies and poor communications became so normalized. “There are a lot of things in life that are hard. Being honest with your partner about when you’ll get home, or, as with the other example, how much money you’re spending online? These are not examples of things that are hard.”
It’s such a good point: life can be hard and so can relationships. There’s no need to make things harder than they have to be when you can solve your issue with a text, phone call, or upfront honesty. When you choose to spend your life with someone, your life changes in many ways. One of the best parts of this arrangement is the fact that you always have (or should have) someone in your corner, which can be amazing. But part of that benefit is realizing that there’s someone who’s relying on you as well. So be respectful of one another.
