Wife: Honey, can you please help me with cleaning the garden?

Husband: Do I look like a gardener?

Wife: Oh, sorry honey. Okay, then can you fix the bathroom door?

Husband: Do I look like a carpenter?

Then the husband walks out. After coming back from where he went, he found the garden cleaned and the door fixed.

Husband: I knew my wife would do this all by herself…!

Wife: No, it’s not me.

Husband: Who then?

Wife: Our neighbor.

Husband: How much did you pay him?

Wife: No, he just gave me two options: bread or sex….

Husband: I hope you gave him bread.

Wife: Do I look like a bakery?