Once upon a time, a man decided to go to confession. As he entered the confessional booth, he greeted the priest and said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The priest kindly asked if he would like to confess his sins, to which the man replied with a sheepish tone, “Well, Father, last weekend, I used the ‘F-word’.”
The priest, not wanting to make a big deal out of it, responded, “Alright, my son, say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language.” But the man had more to confess, wanting to share the whole story behind his slip of the tongue.
Impatient, the priest sighed and said, “Go ahead, my child, tell me why you used that word.” The man took a deep breath and continued his hilarious tale.
“Father, you see, instead of going to church on Sunday, I played golf with my buddies. Everything seemed fine until I stepped up to the first tee. I took a swing, and my drive veered sharply into the trees on the left!”
The priest, somewhat intrigued, asked, “And that’s when you swore?” The man, growing a little annoyed by the constant interruptions, replied, “No, Father, that was not the reason.”
Undeterred, he went on. “As I walked down the fairway, I noticed my ball had miraculously received a lucky bounce and ended up with a clear shot to the green. I was relieved, Father, truly relieved. But then, out of nowhere, a squirrel dashed by, snatched my ball, and scurried up a nearby tree!”
The priest, bewildered, inquired, “Did you utter the ‘F-word’ then?” The man chuckled and said, “No, Father, that wasn’t the moment either.”
With the suspense building, the man continued his confession. “To my surprise, Father, an eagle swooped down and caught the squirrel in its sharp talons, and together they flew away!” The priest, eyes wide with disbelief, asked, “Surely, you cursed then?”
A mischievous smile spread across the man’s face as he replied, “No, Father, not yet.”
Finally, he reached the climax of his tale. “As the eagle soared over the green, the dying squirrel lost its grip on my golf ball, and it miraculously landed within 5 inches of the hole!”
The priest, unable to contain his anticipation, exclaimed, “Don’t tell me you missed the f…ing putt!”
