Ah, siblings. Aren’t they just the best at turning family gatherings into an episode of the “who brought the most extravagant gift” show? And when it comes to showing off for a beloved parent’s milestone birthday, all bets are off. Welcome to the tale of the three sons, where Mama dearest is about to get more than she might have bargained for in convivial hilarity.
Meet the contenders: Gerard, Howard, and Norman. Three successful brothers, top of their respective societal pyramids, ready to throne themselves as the “favorite child” with a birthday gift that outshines the others.
Gerard, with his air of self-satisfaction thick enough to cut with a knife, drops his ace. “I built a sprawling mansion for Mom,” he declares. Now, when I say mansion, I mean enough rooms to get lost in without a map – ten bedrooms, a library to rival Hogwarts, and an indoor pool. Talk about being one step away from cramming a mini-golf course in there.
Howard, not one to be outdone, laughs as if Gerard’s offering is a mere appetizer before the main course. “That’s cute,” he says, oozing confidence. “I sent her a Tesla with a personal chauffeur who’s always on call.” Imagine never having to touch those driving wheels again! A driver on demand – because nothing says “I love you, Mom” like sheltering her from the perils of morning traffic.
And then, there’s Norman. Now Norman isn’t about the high-speed glamour or colossal mansions. No, he’s opting for something… divine. He leans back, grinning like the Cheshire cat. “Amateurs,” Norman dubs his siblings, detailing his magnum opus: a brown parrot trained by monks over twelve years! This isn’t just any bird – it’s a feathered theologian, poised with the Bible memorized and ready to spit out verses at his mother’s command. Quite the gift, right? Who wouldn’t want a talking apostle standing on their shoulder?
A week rolls by, and the sweet sound of thank-you notes arrives at the sons’ doors, each curated by their dear old mum. Let’s just say, she didn’t mince her words.
Gerard, sure the real estate Taj Mahal would have blown her socks off, received this note: “The house is lovely, but it’s far too big. I only use one room, and I have to clean the entire place!” Imagine that – a mansion fit for a monarch, reduced to an oversized cleaning chore.
Next, we have Howard’s turn. Feeling pretty smug about the whole chauffeur situation until he reads, “The car is beautiful, but I don’t go out much, and the driver has a temper worse than your father’s.” In one swift note, Mom turned what was supposed to be a luxury into a tireless torment!
But here, folks, is where it gets particularly interesting. Norman, the soon-to-be brother of the year, met with some surprising news. “Dearest Norman,” his letter said, “you’re the only one who truly understands me. The roast chicken was delicious. But it was pretty small.” Oh boy, if only Norman had realized his holy feathered gift had taken flight onto the dinner table rather than delivering divine truths.
In the end, these gracious gifts turned into a comedic trio of misunderstandings that can put any sitcom to shame. This goes to show you, sometimes understanding what a loved one truly needs beats all the grandeur gifts money can buy. And while a Bible-verse-reciting parrot might seem like the ultimate grab, sometimes, it literally just gets gobbled up.
