When you first become a parent, it’s natural to need a bit of help. Often, this happens in your 20s or 30s while you’re trying to juggle building your career and maintaining your usual routine. Adding a child into the mix can make balancing everything quite a challenge.
Many new parents turn to their own parents for support, who then become loving grandparents to the new baby.
These grandparents often step in to help out and, in some families, become regular babysitters.
This kind of help is something many people depend on, but not every family views it the same way. Such was the case for one family, where things got complicated when the mother-in-law asked for payment to babysit her grandchild.
I’m currently in a difficult situation. My husband and I have been happily married for 10 years, and we have a delightful six-month-old baby. Both of us work full-time—my husband works from home, and I go to the office.
Recently, my mother-in-law retired and generously offered to take care of our baby while we were at work. We gratefully accepted her offer, and things have been going smoothly. She’s wonderful with children, and I truly appreciate all her help. Beyond looking after the baby, she helps with cooking, cleaning, and even dishes.
However, yesterday’s conversation with my mother-in-law left me stunned. She asked us to pay her for the time she spends caring for our precious Katie. I never imagined that she would put a price on spending time with her own grandchild. When I was a baby, my grandma babysat me and my sister without expecting any payment, money, or gifts. She did it purely out of love for us. I also used to babysit my younger siblings for hours on end without any compensation when I was growing up.
I’m at a complete loss. This situation is making me feel very frustrated and is causing tension in my marriage. My husband thinks she should be paid because, without her help, we’d have to hire a total stranger to take care of our child, which could be even more expensive. I’m at my wit’s end. I’ve thought through everything but I’m still lost. My mind is just a whirlwind of confusion.
