7 Hilarious Dog Jokes That Will Make You Howl with Laughter
Dogs have an uncanny ability to bring laughter and joy into our lives. From their playful antics to their clever tricks, there’s no shortage of amusing moments they inspire. Get ready to chuckle as we share seven uproarious dog jokes that celebrate the hilarious side of our furry companions.
From a dog that’s a savvy shopper to one that can carry on a conversation, these jokes capture the delightful behaviors of our four-legged friends. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the humor only dogs can provide!
A closeup of a dog wearing sunglasses | Source: Pexels
1. A Dinner Table Dilemma
A girl was meeting her boyfriend’s parents for the first time but had an upset stomach. While at the dinner table, she tried to quietly release some gas. The result was an audible squeak that made everyone look up. The boyfriend’s father looked at the dog lying nearby and said, “Max.” Relieved they thought it was the dog, she let out a louder one a bit later. Again, the father said, “MAX!” Encouraged, she went for full relief, resulting in a four-second ripper. This time, the father exclaimed, “Max! For the love of God! Get away from there before she craps on you!!”
A closeup of a white Siberian Husky lying on a floor | Source: Pexels
2. The Genius Shopper
A butcher saw a dog with $10 and a note reading, “Five lamb chops, please.” Amazed, he gave the dog the chops and watched it wait for a green light, cross the road, and catch a bus. The dog checked the timetable, got off at the right stop, and went to a house. It dropped the chops at the door, tried to get in, but nobody answered. Eventually, the dog’s owner opened the door and scolded it. The butcher exclaimed, “What are you doing? This dog’s a genius!” The owner replied, “Genius? It’s the second time this week he’s forgotten his keys!”
A closeup of grilled lamb chops | Source: Pexels
A big guy opened it and started cursing and shouting at the dog. The butcher ran up and screamed at the guy, “What the hell are you doing? This dog’s a genius!” The owner responded, “Genius, my butt… It’s the second time this week he’s forgotten his keys!”
A dog traveling in a bus | Source: Midjourney
3. The Nap-Loving Visitor
An old dog wandered into a man’s yard. The man noticed from the dog’s collar and well-fed belly that it had an owner. The dog came over for pats and then calmly went inside, curled up, and fell asleep. For several weeks, the dog repeated this – visiting for an afternoon nap. Curious, the man pinned a note on the dog’s collar, asking about the dog’s visits. The next day, the dog returned with a note saying, “He lives in a home with six children, two under the age of three; he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”
A man pats a dog while he is lying on the floor | Source: Pexels
4. The Plasterer at the Pub
A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The bartender is shocked and exclaims, “You’re a dog!” The dog replies, “I see your eyes are working.” The bartender then marvels that the dog can talk. The dog says, “I see your ears are working, too. Now, can I have my beer and sandwich, please?” The surprised bartender serves the dog, who explains that he is working as a plasterer on a building site. This routine continues for two weeks. One day, the circus comes to town, and the barman tells the ringmaster about the talking, beer-drinking dog. The ringmaster gives him a business card, saying to have the dog call him. The next day, the bartender offers the dog a job with the circus. The dog asks, after some reflection, “The circus? The one with the big tent? With animals in cages and performers in caravans? With a canvas roof? Why would they need a plasterer??!”
A bartender pouring wine into a glass | Source: Pexels
5. Corgi Comedy
Why aren’t Corgi jokes funny?
All of them are really short.
A high-angle photo of a Corgi looking upwards | Source: Pexels
6. The Talking Dog for Sale
A guy spots a sign that reads, “Talking dog for sale.” He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy meets the dog and asks if it can talk. “Yep,” the dog replies. When asked about its story, the dog says it discovered it could talk and worked for the CIA, traveling globally, attending meetings, and spying because no one suspected a talking dog. Eventually, tired from jetting around, the dog retired to do airport security, earned several medals, and settled down with a family. The guy is amazed and asks the owner for the price. The owner says, “Ten dollars.” Astounded, the guy asks why the dog is so cheap. The owner replies, “He’s a big liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”
7. The Skateboarding Dog
A man was complaining to his neighbor about his dog that always chases people on skateboards. Slightly concerned, the neighbor asked what the man would do about it. The man shrugged and said, “Guess the only answer is to confiscate his skateboard.”
A closeup of a dog on a skateboard | Source: Freepik
Laughter is the best medicine, and dogs are among the greatest comedians in our lives. We hope these jokes brought joy and brightened your day. Stay tuned for more fun and heartwarming stories about man’s best friend.
