The man was irked that the little girl did not say thank you.
Women often face a dilemma when it comes to accepting compliments, particularly from men. If we agree with the compliment, we might be seen as egotistical. A polite smile could invite further unwanted interactions. Ignoring them could be perceived as being rude. It’s a tough spot to be in.
Apparently, this issue begins as early as six years old.
TikTok mom Liz Kindred recently shared a video describing an awkward encounter she had with an older gentleman while out with her six-year-old daughter. Her story has sparked a conversation about how to handle compliments directed at young children.
“I was in line this morning with my six-year-old and a grown man turned around and said to my six-year-old, ‘My goodness, you sure are pretty,’” Liz begins in her video.
She goes on to explain that her six-year-old daughter, who is quite perceptive and introverted, immediately grabbed her leg tightly. Liz, who prides herself on being more composed thanks to her 12-step program, hoped the compliment would end there.
But it didn’t. The man reiterated, “You sure are pretty. Look at those blue eyes.” Liz’s daughter tightened her grip on her.
Liz acknowledged his compliment with a polite noise and smile, hoping it would be enough. However, things took an uncomfortable turn.
“He’s a boomer and God love him. And he said, ‘I guess your mom didn’t teach you manners.’ And I let out an uncomfortable little [noise], and the pause was long. It was long. And under his breath he said, ‘Guess not,’” she recalls.
Realizing the situation was escalating, Liz decided to respond in a calm but firm manner. She remarked, “If you assume that I didn’t teach my six-year-old daughter to say ‘thank you’ to a grown, consenting man when he compliments her appearance, then you would be correct.”
The man fell silent, and the tension hung in the air for what felt like an eternity. Liz concluded her story by saying it was the “longest silence of my life.”
Many praised Liz for her composed response. One user shared, “Gen x mom here. NEVER thought of it this way! Thank you for opening my eyes for when my grandbabies are born.”
Another person recalled, “I remember being taught, by my dad, to say yes to every boy who asked me to dance ‘because it’s hard for those boys to get up that courage just to ask and it’s the least I could do.’”
There were, however, differing opinions. One user thought Liz’s reaction was over the top, stating, “Sometimes it’s just people being kind.”
In response, Liz stated, “Giving a compliment with an expectation to fulfill the ego is unkind.”
Due to numerous comments like this, Liz posted a follow-up video to clarify her stance.
“My daughters don’t owe any grown adult a ‘thank you’ for complimenting the way they look, especially if it makes them uncomfortable, which it did,” she explains.
She further asserted, “My daughters aren’t responsible for the way adults feel. I am not responsible for the way you feel and choose to show up on this God-forsaken app and project your own insecurities and unresolved trauma onto strangers on the internet.”
Bravo, Liz! Way to stand your ground and protect your daughter.
