Picture this: you’ve hit the grand age of 80. Health? Check. Humor? Double-check. All you want for your milestone birthday is to spend some quality time with your daughter. Ah, the simplicity of pure love. So, in perhaps a questionable burst of youthful spontaneity, you decide to drive over and surprise her.

With all the stealth of a seasoned ninja—or an enthusiastic dad with limited experience in stealth missions—you make your way to her door. She opens it, and instead of the look of joy you expected, something akin to a deer caught in the headlights registers on her face. Nervously, she blurts out, “Dad, what are you here for?”

Cue the heartwarming dad smile. “Just wanted to be with you for my birthday,” you reply, probably imagining the kind of Hallmark-movie hug that might follow. Instead, she counters with the mother of all unexpected replies: “Dad, you can’t stay. I’ve got a lot going on.”

Ouch, right? But being the good-hearted soul, you offer to wait on the sofa. Surely a bit of dad-presence won’t be too disruptive. However, she stands firm. “No, Dad, you really need to leave right away.” This was strange—strange enough to pique that well-honed parental instinct of yours.

As you trot back to your car with a heart heavier than you care to admit, you can’t shake off the inkling that something’s up. A peek through the window reveals two strangers inside her house. Okay, so this was officially in