Picture this: A cowboy strolls into town, five-dollar hat on his head and a burning desire for a new trusty steed. He hands over some cash to a preacher who greets him with an unusually stern warning: “This isn’t your average horse. I’ve taught this one some heavenly commands…” The cowboy raises an eyebrow, intrigued. The preacher pauses dramatically before continuing, “To get him to run, you must say ‘Hallelujah!’ And to make him stop you must say ‘Amen’.”
The cowboy, thinking he’s struck gold, tips his hat to the preacher, thanks him, and rides off into the sunset on his new horse. Well, almost. Later that afternoon, he decides to test out his divine equine.
With an adventurous spirit, he saddles up and mounts the horse, giving a confident yell, “Heyahh!” You won’t believe it—the horse just stands there like a statue. A flash of realization crosses the cowboy’s face, remembering the preacher’s peculiar instructions. With a deep breath, he belts out, “Hallelujah!”
And just like that, the horse bolts into a gallop as if possessed by the spirit itself. The cowboy holds on for dear life, his thrilled yells quickly turning to panic as the horse refuses to respond to his desperate cries to slow down. “Woah! Slow down!” he shouts, pulling frantically at the reins. Yet, the horse—clearly having heard no ‘Amen’—keeps racing towards what could only be described as a very cinematic and dangerous cliff edge.
As the ground beneath them starts to thin out, the cowboy, now drenched in sweat, realizes the grim reality: he’s about to make a one-way trip to the afterlife. With an edge of pure desperation, he prays, “God, save my soul and forgive my sins, Amen.”
Like a scene plucked straight out of a Western thriller, the horse screeches to a halt, right at the precipice of the cliff. Heart pouding and breathless, the cowboy breaks into a relieved grin and yells, “Hallelujah!”
So the moral of this raucously hilarious tale? Always, and I mean always, know your commands when dealing with a holy horse. And maybe, just maybe, double-check if your preacher has a hidden talent for comedy.
