I love being a mom and I love my kids dearly, but 90% of my role as a mom is not satisfying.
We all know that parenting can be tough and rewarding. But is it satisfying? One mother on TikTok recently shared a sentiment many parents might secretly relate to: sometimes, the everyday grind of parenting just doesn’t feel fulfilling.
Celeste Yvonne, a TikTok mom, opened up about this topic recently. Her honest perspective resonated with many.
Here’s my hot take, so don’t come at me. But for the most part, motherhood is deeply unsatisfying. And we don’t talk about it enough… I love being a mom, and I love my kids dearly, but 90% of my role as a mother is not satisfying, she began.
It is the nitty gritty. It’s getting kids to clean up after messes. It’s reminding kids to wash their hands. It’s convincing kids to eat the meals I make. I mean, it’s a lot of work. So much work and in and of itself, that part is not satisfying, she elaborated.
It’s true, convincing a toddler to eat anything that isn’t shaped like a dinosaur rarely feels gratifying.
Celeste went on to explain how her fear that her parenting efforts might fall short keeps her from feeling completely content, even if it ultimately makes her a more diligent mom.
I do not go to bed most nights feeling satisfied in my role as a mother, far from it. If anything, I go to bed with intrusive thoughts worried about their future, feeling like I didn’t do a good enough job. And I wouldn’t say in any sense that makes me a bad mom. If anything, that makes me a great mom, but it’s not a satisfying feeling, she shared.
So why share these feelings with strangers online?
I’m saying this out loud because I don’t think we talk about it enough, she explained. For a long time, I felt like I was doing it wrong because I saw other people, other moms on social media beaming and glowing about the milestones talking about how satisfying this role is, and wondering if I was doing it wrong, and the truth is we just don’t talk about the unsatisfying parts. And I think we should.
The feedback in the comments section was largely supportive, with many parents voicing their appreciation for Celeste’s honesty.
The most underappreciated, mentally and physically draining, thankless job. Please keep speaking up. There’s a community, said CONES.
Moms need to talk about this more — I love my kids more than anything — but I do not enjoy being a mom, said Miss Di.
However, other parents had different perspectives.
I’m a single dad with full custody. It is the most thoroughly rewarding thing I have ever done and continue to do in my 43 years, said Joe.
But now that mine is a year away from college, I’d take back those hectic younger years in a second. I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted kids, mom at 33, but to me, it has been the most satisfying role, said TipsyLaBelle.
In a follow-up video, Celeste addressed the role social media, especially parenting influencers like Ballerina Farm’s Hannah Neeleman, play in making parents feel inadequate or dissatisfied.
I want to talk about the impact of Ballerina Farm on people like me, mothers in the trenches… I see a mom making food from scratch with kids in the background, helping in harmony. I see kids willingly do their chores. I see kids eating the food that Hannah just spent hours making without putting up a fight. I see all these things, whether or not they’re true, which doesn’t matter, frankly. And I think to myself, I must be doing something wrong, she confessed.
Comparing your life to the curated feeds of influencers is challenging, especially when it comes to parenting. Celeste explained that she hoped her TikTok would spark more open conversations about the challenges of parenting, and not just the picture-perfect moments.
I’m not here to bash Ballerina Farm. I hope Hannah does whatever brings her joy. My point is, I want to talk about the other side of motherhood, start talking about the reality where most of us do go to bed feeling like a shell of a mom, a shell of a person, and it’s not because we’re bad moms or that we’re doing it wrong. It’s because motherhood is really freaking hard, because we are so invested in all of it.
