We all know how challenging it can be to break old habits. Sometimes, those habits can have negative consequences that we desperately want to change. Breaking free from these habits is never an easy task, especially when they affect the people we care about the most.
The Influence of Habits at Any Age
Habits are a part of human nature, regardless of our age. Even young children can develop habits that last a lifetime. Let me share a story that perfectly illustrates how habits can affect our lives and the difficult decisions we sometimes have to make.
Nurturing a Growing Family
I want to begin by sharing that I have recently been diagnosed with Postpartum Depression (PPD). This is important to mention because it could be playing a role in my actions. Now, let me tell you about my situation.
I have been in a loving relationship with my boyfriend for the past 6 years. He has a wonderful 12-year-old son named Jake. Two years ago, they moved into my home, which I have owned for almost a decade. We are also blessed with a beautiful 3-month-old daughter, whom Jake adores.
The Stressful Predicament
Jake is a caring older brother to his baby sister. He loves holding her and tries his best to be helpful. However, there is one major issue that has been causing a lot of stress since our daughter was born. Jake has been purposely scaring her. He walks up to her and yells “RA!” just to see her startle and cry. Despite my repeated pleas for him to stop, explaining that he’s hurting her ears and it’s not funny, he continues to do it at least four times a day.
The Need for Support
I have expressed my concerns to my boyfriend, but he often dismisses them, attributing Jake’s actions to normal childhood behavior. While he acknowledges that Jake did the same with his half-brother when he was a baby, I have reached my breaking point multiple times. But a few days ago, everything came to a head.
The Breaking Point
In a moment of frustration, I lost my temper and threatened to kick both my boyfriend and Jake out of my home. I immediately regretted my harsh words when I saw the sadness in Jake’s eyes as he retreated to his room. Yet, my intention was clear – I wanted to protect my daughter.
The Final Straw
Last night, while momentarily out of the room, I overheard Jake imitating a baby voice and my daughter screaming in response. I couldn’t bear to hear her cry once again. An hour later, I heard the same thing, “RA,” followed by my baby’s cries. That was the final straw for me.
Standing Up for My Child
Without waiting for an explanation or response, I told them to pack their things and leave immediately. My priority was to comfort my baby. Jake tried to apologize, attributing his actions to habit, while my boyfriend protested, claiming it wasn’t a big deal. But I refused to listen to their excuses. I had made up my mind.
The Difficult Decision
To my surprise, my boyfriend insisted that he wasn’t going anywhere. He argued that it was his house too. In that moment, I decided that if he wanted to stay, then I would be the one to leave. I threatened to involve the authorities and have the police serve him an eviction notice. He pleaded with me to calm down, repeatedly reminding me that Jake is just a 12-year-old kid who isn’t perfect.
Prioritizing My Child’s Well-being
This morning, I took action. I filed for their eviction. Some may view my actions as unreasonable, but I am exhausted from Jake’s deliberate acts of scaring my daughter multiple times a day. I have spoken to Jake about his behavior, and he admits that he finds it funny when children cry.
I hope that by making this difficult decision, I can protect my daughter and create a safer environment for her. As a mother, my child’s well-being will always be my top priority.
