When Husband Puts His Mother First, What is a Pregnant Woman to Do?

A Reddit user sought advice when her husband’s loyalty to his mother began challenging their marriage. As a loving wife and expectant mother, she had hoped for her husband’s support during her pregnancy. However, when she asked him to be more present and help her prepare for their child’s arrival, his response shocked her.

A Husband Too Close to His Mother

The woman explained that her husband had an unusually close relationship with his mother. He would spend hours on the phone with her and prioritize time with her over time with his wife. Frustrated and feeling neglected, the woman turned to fellow Reddit users for guidance.

An Unexpected Ultimatum
When the woman reached her sixth month of pregnancy, she finally mustered the courage to ask her husband to be more involved and supportive. To her surprise, his response was far from what she had hoped for. He told her that spending more time with her would mean sacrificing time with his mother, and then he dropped a bombshell: “You know my mom comes before you.”

Struggling Alone

Despite her shock, the woman took matters into her own hands when her husband left to go to his mother’s house. She handled all the preparations for their child by herself, feeling hurt and betrayed. Adding insult to injury, her mother-in-law called to gloat about her victory, with the sound of her husband’s laughter in the background. Despite her anger, the woman carried on with her daily life.

An Anniversary Letdown

As weeks passed, the couple’s anniversary arrived. While the woman had planned a special celebration for her husband, he had other plans. He left for his mother’s house, leaving her waiting and wondering. When she finally called, he confirmed his whereabouts, prompting her to express her frustration with his behavior. She told him that he might as well have the child with his mother, as he seemed more invested in their relationship.

Seeking Validation on Reddit

Feeling hurt and confused, the woman turned to Reddit for advice, seeking validation for her feelings. The response she received affirmed her position. Users empathized and criticized her husband for his lack of support. They encouraged her to have an open conversation with him and understand the root of his attachment to his mother.

A Call for Change

Taking the advice to heart, the woman confronted her husband about his priorities. He tearfully promised to change, realizing the strain his behavior was placing on their marriage. While she held onto hope, she knew she needed to address the source of the problem – her domineering mother-in-law.

No Winning, Only Boundaries

The woman clarified that this was not a competition between her and her mother-in-law. She made it clear that if her mother-in-law continued to interfere and undermine their relationship, she would limit her access to their grandchild. Thankfully, since their conversation, the woman’s husband has stepped up and shown a renewed commitment to their marriage and their growing family.

In any relationship, it’s important for both partners to support each other and create healthy boundaries. While family connections are important, it should never come at the expense of a spouse or child. Communication and understanding are key to navigating these challenges, ensuring a strong and loving foundation for the entire family.