Every Christmas, my brother Jay used to play a prank by hanging a pair of pantyhose over his fireplace. He would jokingly say that he wanted Santa to fill them. But year after year, his poor pantyhose remained empty, while his kids’ stockings were overflowing with presents. It seemed like Santa never checked Jay’s wish list twice.
Finally, one year, I decided to take matters into my own hands and make Jay’s dream come true. In search of an inflatable love doll, I embarked on an adventure to an adult bookstore. Let me tell you, if you’ve never been to an X-rated store, it’s quite an experience. I spent an hour there, utterly confused by the peculiar items on display. But eventually, I found what I was looking for: “Lovable Louise”, a simple inflatable doll.
On Christmas Eve, I brought Louise to life with an old bicycle pump. Sneaking into Jay’s house, I filled the pantyhose hanging by the fireplace with Louise’s legs and bottom. To add to the illusion, I even indulged in some cookies and milk left out for Santa. The next morning, Jay called, ecstatic about the “present” that Santa had left him. But the dog was completely baffled, barking and reacting oddly to Louise.
Deciding to keep the prank going, we left Louise in her pantyhose for the family to see during our traditional Christmas dinner. As soon as my grandmother walked in, she couldn’t help but comment, “What the hell is that?” Jay quickly explained that it was a doll, but Granny wasn’t convinced. She had several questions: Why didn’t the doll have any clothes? And why were her teeth missing?
Trying to divert Granny’s attention, Jay complimented the smell of the turkey and urged her into the dining room. But she persisted with her inquiries. At that moment, my grandfather, who had poor eyesight, approached me and asked, “Hey, who’s the naked gal by the fireplace?” I simply told him she was Jay’s friend.
As the dinner progressed and we engaged in our usual banter, something unexpected happened. Louise made a noise that sounded suspiciously like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Suddenly, she lurched from the pantyhose, flew around the room, and landed in a heap in front of the sofa. Chaos ensued. The cat screamed, cranberry sauce shot out of my nose, and Grandpa rushed to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on Louise. Meanwhile, Jay fell out of his chair, Granny stormed out of the room in a fit, and I couldn’t stop laughing.
Eventually, we discovered that Louise’s collapse was caused by a hot ember on her thigh. But thanks to the wonder drug known as duct tape, we fixed her up good as new. Little did we know that Louise would go on to star in a few bachelor party movies. And to this day, Grandpa still asks for her whenever he gets a chance to escape the house.
That Christmas dinner will forever be a cherished memory, filled with laughter and unexpected surprises. It showed us the true meaning of family—coming together and creating joyful moments, even in the midst of hilarity.