Woman Refuses to Take in Husband’s Niece, Questions Foster Care Guilt

Caring for a child is a significant responsibility that should not be taken lightly. When one couple found themselves faced with the decision of taking in their recently orphaned niece, they turned to Reddit for advice. The wife, known as the OP (original poster), expressed her concerns and questioned if she was wrong for not feeling guilty about the possibility of her niece going into foster care. Let’s delve into this story to see how it unfolded.

A Complicated Situation

The OP explained that her husband’s sister tragically passed away from a drug overdose, leaving behind two children: Rose, who is almost 17, and Lilly, who is seven years old. The couple lives on the East coast, while the rest of the husband’s family resides in California. The OP revealed that her mother-in-law, who is retired and doesn’t have much space or financial means, is temporarily taking care of Lilly while Rose plans to stay on her grandmother’s couch until she goes to college next year.

The Dilemma

While the mother-in-law wants the couple to take Lilly in to prevent her from entering foster care, the OP is hesitant for various reasons. First and foremost, she is concerned about her husband’s lack of responsibility. He only cooks a few times a year and prefers playing video games when he’s not working. With his demanding military job and frequent out-of-town work commitments, the OP worries that she would bear the primary responsibility for Lilly’s care. Additionally, the OP herself has no desire to have children, and she questions the fairness of expecting her to adopt a seven-year-old she’s never met and isn’t biologically related to. The challenges of Lilly’s ADHD and behavioral issues further add to the OP’s apprehension.

Tension and Internet Response

Unsurprisingly, this situation has caused tension between the couple. The internet had mixed reactions to their predicament. Some sympathized with both Lilly and the OP, acknowledging that forcing the OP to be a single parent would create resentment and toxicity. They recognized that even though the foster care system might not be ideal, it might be the best option for everyone involved. Others criticized the husband for volunteering their home without considering the extra work it would place on the OP. They highlighted the demands of both the OP’s job and studies, making it impractical for her to take on full-time parenting responsibilities.

Support and Understanding

It is important to remember that child custody decisions should be made based on what is best for the child and the couple involved. It is unfair to expect someone to take on the responsibility of raising a child they have never met and may not be ready for. Despite the difficulties of this situation, it is crucial to approach it with compassion and understanding for all parties involved.