Infidelity is never a laughing matter. It’s a painful experience for the victims of cheating partners. However, there is one woman who found a unique and brilliant way to handle her situation when she discovered her husband’s unfaithfulness. She decided to write a letter to her husband’s mistress, pointing out in detail how his life was about to drastically change.
While I can’t verify the authenticity of this letter, it feels quite realistic. Her vengeance, though unconventional, is definitely worth sharing. So, let’s take a look at what this clever woman had to say!
A Letter to Carla
Dear Carla,
Thanks so much for leaving those little bite marks all over my husband’s chest the other night. I really appreciate it, girl! You have set me and my kids free!
As a reward for your thoughtful services to our family, I’m offering you my husband, for keeps! But before you claim your prize, please pay attention to the following rules:
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Financial Responsibility: You must financially support him. He will be responsible for child support for our two children and alimony for me, considering I have dedicated the last ten years of my life raising these children. So forget about his money, honey, that’s all mine!
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Fashionista Duties: Since all of his clothing mysteriously disappeared when he got out of the shower the other day (strange, right?), you’ll have to clothe him. Feel free to outfit him in any way you choose. Leather pants, a leash, be creative, girlfriend!
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Weekend Visits: Every other weekend will be set aside for supervised visits with his children. Say goodbye to having him around every weekend.
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Intimacy Implications: Prepare to say goodbye to a proper sex life. Due to a back injury five years ago, his penis hasn’t functioned properly. The only way for him to even attempt arousal is with a little blue pill, but even then, it’s only two minutes, maybe three tops. Most of the time, he won’t even try. So stock up on batteries, sweetheart! It’s a nerve damage issue that can’t be fixed. You’ll have to deal with it, just like I did.
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No Going Back: You can try, but don’t expect him to return to me or my home. He had something great going on here, and he threw it all away for you. It’s highly doubtful that you’ll ever match up to what we had.
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Facing the Blame: Accept it when he blames you for everything. During his tear-filled plea for forgiveness, he mentioned that you giggled and said, “I hope your wife sees my bites.” Well, your wish came true, honey, and he’s severely pissed… at you.
Now for a friendly warning:
I will make it my life’s mission to occupy all of his time with the pettiest stuff I can think of, just to spite you. I will make sure to hurt him as much as my kids are hurting right now. He will smile and deal with it for me and the kids, but then he’ll spend hours every day complaining to you about it. And in case you were wondering, I feel completely justified doing this.
So thanks again, Carla! You’ve shown me that 13 years and two children were no match for you and your adorable little bite marks. I accept defeat and applaud you on a well-won man… HE’S ALL YOURS!
