As parents, we always want the best for our children. We worry about their relationships, financial stability, and physical health. And this worry never seems to stop, even when our children become adults. A recent study conducted by Amber J. Seidel of Pennsylvania State University revealed that parents still lose sleep over their grown children. The study followed 186 families and found some alarming results.
Society often focuses on families with younger children, but Seidel was interested in how families interact and support each other into adulthood. The study, published in The Gerontologist, used a scale of one through eight to measure the level of support parents believe they offer their adult children. The scale ranged from daily interaction and support (one) to support offered once a year (eight). This support included financial assistance, emotional support, and daily visits.
The study also measured the level of stress experienced by parents on a scale of one to five, with five representing the highest stress level. The results showed that fathers reported losing sleep when they provided support for their adult children, while mothers lost sleep whether they or the fathers provided the support. The study suggests that the physical act of supporting their adult children exhausts fathers, while mothers experience stress from worrying about their children’s well-being.
The research reveals that parents continue to be involved in their children’s lives well into adulthood. This finding aligns with the concept of “helicopter parenting,” where parents remain highly aware of their child’s struggles and offer constant support. It also supports the notion of “landing pad” children, who rely on their parents for support as they transition into adulthood.
Constant communication through cell phones can contribute to parental stress. While it allows for constant contact, it can also place parents directly in their adult child’s life, exposing them to worries and concerns that can disrupt their sleep. Being constantly aware of their child’s struggles can prompt fathers to provide support, leading to sleepless nights.
Fortunately, there are ways for parents to cope with the constant stress of having adult children. It’s important to analyze the type of support we offer. Are we enabling negative behaviors or trying to control our child’s life? Instead, we should strive to give our adult children the space to live their own lives while offering unconditional support. We can step in and provide guidance when they seek advice or find themselves in a difficult situation. This can help alleviate some of the pressure on parents.
It’s also crucial to take care of ourselves. Eating well and exercising regularly have been proven to reduce stress and promote longevity, allowing us to support our children and grandchildren for longer. Additionally, reducing or eliminating the use of alcohol, drugs, and caffeine can help lower stress levels. Talking to a close friend or therapist can provide a sense of connection and support during these challenging times. And don’t be afraid to take some time for yourself to recharge and strengthen your emotional well-being.
By spreading the word about this study on social media, we can help other families facing similar challenges. Together, we can reduce the stress of parenting adult children and ensure that we continue to provide the love and support they need.
